The Peak Condition Project - Emily

Parting Thoughts...

2009-12-13T21:28:00.000-08:00

Before I wax poetic and all that about this experience, I really want to express my gratitude to . . .

My halfside, Pacato, the best teammate EVER (who never broke a sweat no matter what kind of mood I threw at him)
Patrick and Chen, who ran the show and led the way (particularly, Patrick, in the areas of enthusiasm, knowledge, encouragement, and balance)
My core group, Shelly, Naomi, Denise, and Jonti, for their empathy, humor, and wonderful example
The past PCPers whose presence and accomplishments were inspiring
All of you who have been reading, commenting on the blog and other online outlets, and offering your support in person—your presence has made this experiment that much more worthwhile

You will all be handsomely rewarded at the end of this post with a

GRATUITOUS BIKINI SHOT.

Leading up to the end of the project, Patrick issued a challenge: visit the gym. I confess to giving the gym my money for the past three months without actually popping in to say hello, and it was with some trepidation that I met this assignment. It felt to me like “go forth to the locker rooms and judge.” I’m in no position to cast stones. I tripped up plenty on PCP (minor addictions to cookie-baking and dried fruit.) Just three months ago, I was a hamster on the treadmill, plugging away, thinking “Not much seems to be changing, but at least I’m here.” But let’s be fair. We do the best we can with the information we have, and we’ve gotten ourselves into quite a pickle. What started decades ago with the best of intentions—processing foods that will feed your family for less money and time—has backfired into a costly cycle of obesity and disease. (To really hammer this point home, check out these maps.) How can we begrudge anyone who is trying to reverse the damage?

The problem is, the real workout isn’t in the gym. It’s in your kitchen. Change your diet, and you will change your life. Three months with no other choice isn’t a bad place to start. If you’re thinking about signing up for PCP, do it. Three months go by so quickly. It’s not easy, and it’s not always fun. But in the end you come out with a real prize you can show off—yourself. And you’ll probably get a bonus reward of seeing the changes you make influence the people around you.

Ultimately, I saw Patrick’s challenge (Observation #1: the gym smells), and I raised it: I cancelled my membership. By now, I am confident I can get a complete workout at home. Even better, I plan to spend my monthly gym money playing capoeira, revisiting the horseback riding lessons of my childhood, and trying to make yoga a regular part of my life. I’ve always been a serial hobbyist, and why shouldn’t I have fun with my new physique?

Which brings me to the Big Reveal. Let’s take a look back at Day 1, shall we?

And finally, what we've all been waiting for . . .

THE GRATUITOUS BIKINI SHOT.

If you're curious, I weigh only two pounds less in the bottom photo than in the top . . . so THROW YOUR SCALE AWAY.

I started this challenge intending to become a TOTAL BADASS. And you know what? Been there, done that, got the t-shirt.

Thanks, everyone!

P.S. Patrick? I believe this is the point at which you COMPLETE me. I've always wanted to have a reason to say that.

Time to Celebrate!

2009-12-13T07:19:00.000-08:00

DAY 90! DAY 90! DAY 90!

I think we all deserve gold stars.

I just finished my final work out and packed my food scale waaaaayyyy in the back of the hall closet. I'm so stoked that I finally get to take this baby out into the real world to see how she flies.

Just gotta snap some final pictures before Pacato and I celebrate with brunch. Then I'm definitely going to the farmers' market for a cup of hot apple cider. And I'm totally eating this peanut butter and jelly chocolate bar I've been saving. And then perhaps to a movie. Seriously, I'm especially excited because I didn't think I'd be free to do any of these things till tomorrow.

I've been kinda cranky this final week, had some trip-ups, and didn't exactly feel so Peak-y . . . but when I woke up this morning and looked in the mirror, I realized I AM SO PROUD OF MYSELF.

I'm proud of Shelly, Jonti, Naomi, and Denise, too. Congratulations, ladies! And thank you so much Patrick and Chen for the work you've put into our experience.

I'll be back soon with some parting thoughts and, more importantly, TOTALLY BADASS photos.

A Momentary Break for Some Culture

2009-12-10T10:38:00.000-08:00

So . . . I went to see the New York City ballet perform the Nutcracker last night. How lovely! However, I was slightly distracted by two things:

A) The muscles on the Sugar Plum Fairy
You could literally see the definition through her tutu. Something new to aspire to . . . if I was a professional dancer . . . or queen of all the confections in the land.

B) The head candy cane was jumproping through his hula hoop
If you can really call it jumping rope without a rope. Dancing, dancing, dancing . . . HOLY CRAP! Did he just jump through his hoop? I felt shamed for my poor morning workout performance. How come I trip on my big toe and he sails through a hoop and keeps right on dancing—in a peppermint-striped clown costume?

Anywho, there's no video evidence to do the trick justice . . . but I did find this:

Almost the same, no?

PC-PMS and a Case of Senioritis

2009-12-08T05:12:00.000-08:00

Dude, I totally have senioritis. Not like, wow-I'm totally-as-buff-as-I-need-to-be-senioritis . . . but like, I-can't-wait-till-I-finally-graduate-from-this-place-and-can-really-be-myself-at-college senioritis. Like, I-should-be-studying-but-instead-I-just-ate-some-cookie-dough senioritis. (Immediate stomachache, btw.)

I should take a page from my freshman year Econ 10 class with one of the toughest teachers on campus. It was the only class in four years for which I read the textbook cover to cover. (If this was a blog about bad study habits, we could go on and on. Anyone remember Surge?) Economics (math, really) doesn't come naturally to me. I am an entirely intuition-based operation. The only way I stood a chance in that class was to seriously apply myself. I made a B minus. Worth more than all the higher grades in other classes.

Unfortunately, I have a simultaneous bout of PMS. And . . . I think one more week is all my body—and my relationship—can take with this noxious gas. Is that just me? Am I doing something wrong? It's the eggs. It HAS to be the eggs.

Ahhh! I can't believe it's Day 83!

2009-12-06T06:35:00.001-08:00

Only one week left. It's the final countdown!

And yes, I did just jump rope to Europe. It was totally BADASS.

Just Took a Peek at This Morning's Workout...

2009-12-05T05:43:00.000-08:00

After four sets of 1 minute and 45 second planks, my post-workout may look a little like this:

"Excuse me, sir? Could you pass me my banana? I don't think I'm going to get there before lunch."

Two Miles in the Snow . . . Uphill Both Ways

2009-12-02T21:36:00.000-08:00

We belong to the Park Slope Food Coop (which has something of a reputation.) It's about a half mile from our house, but two cartons of eggs, a butternut squash, sweet potatoes, onions, eight gazillion bananas, milk (for Pacato), six pieces of frozen salmon, a box of clementines (mmm . . . clementines), whatever else looks good and in season, and $137 later, it feels like miles and miles and miles.

The walk home is about the time my PCP gratitude really kicks in. My heart's pumping. Thump thump thump thump. My arms are about to give out. I am thinking, how on earth would I get all this food home if I didn't have all these muscles?

Granted, if i wasn't doing PCP right now, I probably wouldn't be buying so many groceries. Nor would I be thinking strategy in the produce aisle (heaviest, most colorful possible veggies plus greens equals meal.)

Details, details. . . .

Mmm . . . clementines

Happy Day 80, everyone!

Operation Failure: COMPLETE

2009-12-01T19:23:00.000-08:00

TUESDAY, DECEMBER 1, 7:45 PM
Capoeira abs: 10 sets of 20

8:30 PM
PCP abs: 10 sets of 16-18

Number of minutes it took to achieve ab failure: 1

Believe me, my v-sits weren't pretty. But what the hey, I threw in some 8-minute abs anyway.

10:30 PM
Now I'm on an exercise adrenaline high . . . which should get me through just long enough to make tomorrow's lunch before I sllllooooowwwwwllllllllllyyyyyyyy crash and burn. . . .

Letting Go of Old Habits

2009-11-29T21:09:00.000-08:00

It's 11 pm, and I just hung up my apron for the day. With less than 2 weeks left(!), it really feels like PCP is winding down. Today I slept till almost 11 am. I found time for some bumming around in the beautiful weather and a movie by myself. I wore leggings as pants—a totally daring move. I waved at myself in the mirror and my lower arms did not wave back at me. I went to a party and didn't eat any of the snacks, not even the delicious Brazilian pacoquita (which sort of reminds me of halvah.) This past Thanksgiving was the first in recent history where I did not feel like someone should roll me to our annual post-feast movie. I even bought myself a pb&j chocolate bar and a slurtle—beer caramel, potato chip, and chocolate—from Liddabit Sweets to celebrate with after Day 90. And I wondered about whether I would jump rope the day I eat them.

The hardest part of this past two and a half months has been reframing the way I think about food. Nutrition aside, having what, how much, and essentially when I eat dictated to me has given me new perspective on how I use food—for comfort, for space, and sometimes even as a weapon against my own body. I started baking when I was twelve. I never stole a taste while I cooked. That summer, I would eat half a bagel with apple butter every day, whatever my mom (or I) made for dinner, and beg one of my parents to take me to the track so I could roller blade three or four miles . . . more, if I had eaten any of what I had baked. Once, someone gave me a candy bar—5th Avenue, my favorite—and I made it last for nearly a week, cutting off a small piece every day. I lost twenty pounds, to much fanfare from my family. The need to control what I eat has followed me since—that cycle of guilt and withholding, rebellion and shame. The obsessive, helpless need to exercise.

Yet, today, more than sixteen years later, I am in the best shape of my life. I eat enough to feed a small vegetarian army, and I exercise less than an hour a day. I was a little worried about falling into old habits when I found out we had to weigh our food, but as much as PCP appears to be about control, it has liberated me. Being fit isn't about eating less and exercising more. It's about what you eat and how you exercise. But if I had to trade in the iron guns and the perky buns, this program is worth all the sweat, sore muscles, and peanut butter cravings because it has given me a time out. For two and a half months, I have ceded control of my eating habits to someone else, and I didn't explode. I found new ways to deal with stress. And I realized that the food on my plate is not my enemy. It is simply a choice to feel good—or to feel bad, depending on what I eat. But I make every decision knowing full well the consequences. Which is a whole lot better than being afraid of what will happen if I just let go. . . .

Intermission

2009-11-28T12:59:00.000-08:00

Well . . . the family is gone. You know, I used to think PCP was intense, but I don't think anything tops several days of family time, especially when combined with a holiday. I still don't know how those of you out there with kids do it. My visitors were in the mid-50-to-60-year-old range, and they wore me out!

I'm feeling a little burned out on routines, but now that I've finished the day's strength exercises and eaten some lunch, I wanted to pop in and share this episode of Gourmet's Diary of a Foodie. Denise touched on supporting local producers in one of her posts, which is also something we are big on doing at my house. I especially enjoyed the last half of the episode because it focuses on Hardwick, Vermont—a small town that has created a sustainable food infrastructure.

And while you guys watch that, I'm going to go take a nap. . . .

Things I'm Going to Eat When This is All Over

2009-11-23T20:36:00.000-08:00

In no particular order . . .

Doughnut Plant

http://www.doughnutplant.com/

Being that I'm from North Carolina, I'm a doughnut purist. Meaning I believe that Krispy Kreme is the one true doughnut. But since it's only acceptable to eat a Krispy Kreme from the store itself, and, um, all the NYC locations have closed down, I'm willing to go gourmet. I mean, Doughnut Plant even has a peanut butter and jelly doughnut.

Which brings me to . . .

A Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich

Toasted spelt bread, crunchy pb . . . hmmm . . . raspberry preserves? Tough call.

Reese's Christmas Tree

Sweet Potato French Fries

Slightly crispy with some sort of silly, yummy dipping sauce . . . or maybe a side of sweet, delicious ketchup

An Ever-So-Tiny, Slightly Spicy European-Style Aztec Hot Chocolate From the Cacao Bar at Mariebelle
http://www.mariebelle.com/
I never even used to like hot chocolate before Mariebelle! Now I get it about once every winter.

Homemade Granola Bars (w/o the Chocolate)

via kblog.lunchboxbunch.com

A Glass of Wine

Some Apple Cider

But not all at once.

The One Where I Confess to Having Been a Little Grumpy

2009-11-20T10:37:00.000-08:00

. . . and rejoice that it finally went away!

Lately I've been staying up later than PCP-usual, and this week I haven't had any downtime. My diet's most recent incarnation threw me for a loop because it's more food than I've been used to planning for (fish for breakfast?) AND I felt like my body was going into reverse—not at all aided by the fact that smaller boobies make my waist appear larger. (Although my arms look good. Sizzle.)

Then today I woke up and voila! Belly fat was starting to go away! Better mood! (Perhaps this had something to do with my not eating handfuls of grapes after I had already had my allotted 180 g of nighttime fruit while Pacato yelled "weigh it!" from the other room. At least one of us is trying to make sure I follow the rules.)

Though . . . I am a little disturbed that the height of my mood is dictated by the size of my belly. Minus one point for feminism. Plus one for my therapist. There, I shared my feelings.

Cupcakes anyone?

2009-11-18T08:24:00.000-08:00

Courtesy of your local Neiman Marcus . . .

Don't Sweat It

2009-11-15T08:34:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I attended a sweat lodge for the first time. I'm not sure if attended is the proper word. Was humbled by? I was trying to think of how it might connect to PCP, and I'm sure there are some parallels. After all, they're both intense experiences. A lot of work, for sure. And the more energy you put in, the more you get out. Both test your limits, and there are rainy days like yesterday, when even the lodge leader said he'd rather be in bed. He came anyway, he said, because he'd made a commitment, and when he makes lodges a regular practice, his life gets better.

At the bottom of it all, though, a lodge is just a group of people, many of whom didn't know each other before, gathering to sweat together, to share out loud their experiences—their triumphs, trip-ups, desires, and gratitudes—and to come out the other side with a new perspective. A lot like our group of five here with our trusty leader Patrick.

So I just wanted to take a minute to tell my fellow PCPers how grateful I am, especially the ladies who will be the last to reach peak condition before the clock strikes midnight on 2009: Shelly, Denise, Naomi, and Jonti. Y'all are awesome. I love reading your blogs and seeing your progress, and I'm grateful for your thoughtful comments, your inspiration, and your good humor. Thank you for sweating it out with me!

Due to the soul-stealing powers of the camera, I wasn't allowed to take pictures of the lodge. So I'll leave you with a photo of me, post-sweat, enjoying my grilled salmon spinach salad at the Yankee Clipper. The jury is still out on whether visiting a roadside diner after a purification rite is part of ancient tradition. . . .

Is the Glass 2/3 Full or 1/3 Empty?

2009-11-13T04:38:00.000-08:00

Happy Day 60 everyone!

I've been stoked about Day 60 coming—a nice round way to say . . . two months down and only one to go! Way to go, ladies!

I'm in a great mood this morning because I finished my exercises, showered, dressed, and ate my breakfast with time to spare (to write a blog post!) I, too, was guilty of longer-than-necessary workouts. Although now I think I've gone to the other extreme—perhaps I'm doing them a little too fast. Today, I finished jump rope and strength exercises in about 40 minutes. I'm like Speedy Gonzales with a resistance band.

In other news, I'd like to amend my list of least favorite exercises to include forward shoulder raise. To be fair, I'll add another favorite: kung fu sit-ups!

And . . . I made shortbread last night and only had a small taste of the dough plus a nibble of the finished product. Amazing development! It helped that I ate some real food first . . . funny how that works.

Now that it's just us girls...and Patrick...

2009-11-10T19:06:00.000-08:00

Um . . . where did my boobs go?

I woke up a few mornings ago, and it seemed they had stolen away in the night. Not a postcard, not a phone call . . .

I was always a little jealous of the girls who could buy a shirt without trying it on or layer and still look cute (and not at all uniboob-y). But these days, I'm feeling a bit rectangular.

I mean, were they really made of Reese's Cups and chocolate chip cookies???

A Personal Culinary Triumph

2009-11-08T06:39:00.000-08:00

A few days ago I tried the (out of season) squash-as-spaghetti-noodles trick with a homemade tomato sauce. Delicious! Definitely added to my regular life repertoire. However, it whet my appetite for something bigger, more gourmet: LASAGNA!

Behold the noodleless-less, cheese-less, meat-less lasagna!

Wait a minute, that doesn't sound like much fun! I assure you, to a pescatarian PCP girl who can't eat cheese and isn't allowed any dinner carbs, it is the height of tasty goodness. My cheese and meat-eating dinner companions agreed. All of us had seconds.

I got the idea from this recipe on the Houseboat Eats blog, and I ran with it, coming up with my own tomato sauce and modifying a fake cheese recipe I found from the New Farm Vegetarian Cookbook.

Eggplant-noodle Lasagna

2 eggplants

salt (don't worry, we're going to wash it off)

fresh spinach

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Slice eggplant lengthwise into thin sheets (about 1/8 inch if possible). Place in single layer on baking sheets and generously sprinkle with salt on both sides. Let sit for 30 minutes or so to draw out moisture (so lasagna won't be too soupy). Rinse eggplant thoroughly and use your fingers to squeegee off excess water. Lay out a kitchen towel and place eggplant in single layer on towel. Cover with another towel and pat dry. Set aside till you're ready to use it.

For sauce:

1 tsp or less of olive oil

1 large onion, chopped

2 cloves garlic, minced (or however much you like)

1 can no-salt-added tomato sauce

fresh tomatoes, chopped (I used 2 heirloom because they were nice and squishy)

fresh mushrooms, chopped (I went with Maitake—yum!)

oregano

thyme

pepper

Saute onions and garlic in olive oil. Add mushrooms and saute a few more minutes. Add tomato sauce, tomatoes, oregano, thyme, pepper, and whatever other seasonings you wish. Simmer. If it's too watery, you can add some cornstarch to thicken.

For cheese:

1/2 c nutritional yeast flakes

1/2 c flour

1/2 tsp salt

1/2 tsp garlic powder

2 c water

1 tsp wet mustard

Mix dry ingredients in sauce pan. Whisk in water. Cook over medium heat, whisking, until it thickens and bubbles. Cook 30 seconds more, then remove from heat and whip in mustard. It will thicken as it cools. Makes about 3 cups.

For lasagna:

Place single layer of eggplant on bottom of casserole plan. Top with cheese, then add a layer of spinach and top with sauce. Repeat till you run out of ingredients or room in the pan! Eggplant should be the last layer. Top with tomato sauce. Bake for 30 minutes or so. Enjoy!

Mine came out a bit soupy (the sauce), but it was delicious nonetheless. Non-PCPers may want to add a little salt to the sauce, and by all means, if you're not lactose intolerant, use real cheese! This recipe might be interesting with layers of smoked salmon where ham might be used, but I'm pretty sure that's against the rules right now . . .

Aside: watching the salt draw moisture out of the veggies is an advertisement not to eat salt if I ever saw one.

Double aside: I realized once it was too late, that the flour in the fake cheese actually did mean I was eating some dinner carbs, but I'm not splitting hairs here . . .

Currently craving...

2009-11-05T11:45:00.000-08:00

trail mix

and/or

chocolate-covered raisins . . . or maybe carob-covered raisins

Instead I'm going to opt for . . .

via kanko* on Flickr

Just trying to rewire myself to try the tea first whenever I want to eat sweet. It's funny how I crave things I normally wouldn't now that I can't have any of it . . .

Shiver Me Timbers...

2009-11-03T19:54:00.001-08:00

Week 8!

If this was the 17th century, and we were pilgrims, we'd be almost to Plymouth by now. Luckily, we're not . . . I get seasick.

Also, pilgrim bounty probably doesn't look like this:

The perils of shopping when you're hungry

Especially in the winter. I mean, they probably had to forage for their maitake mushrooms. The funny part is that all of that food will probably be gone before the week's up.

This week's what-on-earth-is-this buy was persimmons. I've never had one. Last week's was romanesco (you have to say it with an accent—rrrromanesco—and sort of throw your hands into the air or toss around your flamenco skirt, whichever) which I served with Naomi's delicious curry.

Behold the romanesco!

P.S. Don't worry. An abundance of greens are coming with Thursday's farm share.

P.P.S. Guess who's currently reading Sarah Vowell?

P.P.S.S. Not that pilgrims would say "shiver me timbers," but it's not often a girl gets to talk like a pirate. And since we were at sea anyway . . .

Ahh...sweet indulgence...

2009-11-01T19:01:00.001-08:00

The indulgences are here! The indulgences are here!

The best part of this indulgence was the timing. I was so tired when I got home last night. It was the perfect night for takeout hummus and home-baked cookies. The only thing missing was a glass of wine.

I mean, technically, I jumped the gun. The call to indulge was issued for today, not last night. But I realized when I cubed a perfectly good slice of butternut squash and threw the pieces directly into the compost instead of the steamer that I had no business in the kitchen.

I even got all grumpy when the large(!) order of hummus arrived with only one(!) pita. I mean, how's a girl supposed to eat her face off with only one pita?

It's turns out, she's not. The hummus was so salty! There was a day when I could eat all the hummus and all the pita and all the extra pita, but that day is gone. Who am I?

Oh, but the cookies . . . gentle baking bliss. They were good. I'm not going to lie. I ate enough dough to make myself sick. But not too sick to try a peanut butter cup cookie. Yum!

Aside from the giant rock in my stomach, the bloating, the gas, the not being able to sleep, and the thirst when I woke up, this morning I looked like I had added an extra layer of fat to my belly. So, that's nice.

Still . . . long live cookies! I'll just eat the dough sparingly next time.

And now back to our regularly scheduled salt-free, oil-free, sugar-free programming . . .

And then there were five...

2009-11-01T18:14:00.000-08:00

Wow, is it really just us left? Way to go, Heather and Melanie!

A job well done to everybody who finished this past week! I have to admit, though, I was a little jealous this morning when I got up. I was soooo not feeling my workout. But owing to the fact that glorious timed jumps start tomorrow—woot!—I hammered out my last 1500, and by the time Pretty Ricky came on the mix, I was pistol squatting like a champ. Well, not exactly like a champ. I have a feeling I am doing this exercise all wrong, as it is never particularly hard. Annoying, yes.

I did the rest of my workout while I listened to this episode of This American Life called Living Without. It sort of reminded me of our 3-month endeavor here, especially the prologue.

Then I did the New York City Marathon.

Mile 8

I didn't actually run it. But I cheered my cousin (and lots of other runners) on throughout the course. It's funny the things that come out of your mouth when you're trying to sound motivational to people you don't know. Yeah, Bob! Way to go, Angela! Woohoo! Lookin' good, Pete! You can do it, Barbara! Almost there! (I'm not sure if this one is actually helpful when you've run 23 miles, and you still have 3 miles to go.)

At any rate, by the time I got home, I felt like I had run the marathon. And then I opened my e-mail to discover [sound the bugles!] an INDULGENCE. More to come . . .

P.S. Lookin' good, ladies! Keep it up! More than halfway there! Woohoo!

Happy Halloween!

2009-10-30T19:18:00.000-07:00

Capoeira Brooklyn celebrated last night with a Halloween roda (dress like your nickname).

Here we all are looking utterly unprepared to have our picture taken:

That's me in the front—the drop of water. For Pingo, or "droplet."

Halfway Day

2009-10-29T04:40:00.000-07:00

. . . Hooray!

Congratulations to E, Jessica, Mike, Anshuman, and Amy! What an awesome accomplishment, you guys. I can't wait to hear your final thoughts.

And today marks the halfway point for Shelly, Naomi, Denise, Jonti, and me. 45 days down, 45 to go. Way to go, y'all!

Apparently, I was talking about jumping rope in my sleep. Oy. The jumprope seems to pervade my dreams on Wednesday nights. However, this morning's actual workout, accompanied by Doc Watson, went off without a hitch. Although it was accompanied by Patrick's e-mail warning us not to stray from out diets. Oh, say, like eating too much fruit? Crap. Busted!

PCP Diet for Zombies

2009-10-27T14:01:00.001-07:00

(Via my friend Beth, though I'm not sure from whence it originally came)

Oh my...

2009-10-27T04:50:00.000-07:00

My arms were already shaking on my very first shoulder press this morning!

Then Pacato and I took a whole series of Day 43 pictures before I realized I was still in my underwear . . .

(Yet another benefit of PCP—you don't even have to get dressed to work it out!)

But I'm done with my exercises, new (clothed) photos are posted, I just had my power breakfast, and now it's time for work. Happy Tuesday everyone! And a great Day 43 to all the ladies who are taking it through December. Get 'er done!

Popeye Had It All Wrong...

2009-10-25T18:21:00.001-07:00

DUDE . . .

Forget the spinach. It's definitely the eggs. Or the fish. Or the eggs and the fish. Though I do love the spinach . . .

I had so much energy in my capoeira class Saturday morning (it helps that I didn't do my strength exercises before class this time.) My body felt strong and solid in every movement. For the first time, I can see real potential for growth in my game.

The change isn't just physical. Teachers often compare capoeira to a conversation. Knowing I could trust my body freed my mind to focus on building that interaction with the person I was playing. This most basic component of the game is more important to me right now than learning fancy tricks—those will come—but I think it is also the most difficult part.

The experience renewed my commitment to PCP and to capoeira. Not just for the results but for the community that makes them both so special.

It's Peanut Butter and Jelly Time!

2009-10-24T06:06:00.000-07:00

Okay, not for real, BUT the delicious-looking cranberry-orange relish recipe E posted the other day made me think back to a recipe I remember seeing on PCP alum Shelby's blog . . . jam! I love jam, especially preserves. In fact, a peanut butter and jelly sandwich is hands-down my favorite meal.

Perhaps making jam would pick me up? I've been a little down this week—I haven't felt 100%. My poor digestive system is all out of whack. At first, I thought it might be the eggs, but I have a sneaking suspicion it is more related to my dried fruit addiction. I thought I was over the dried papaya spears . . . but then I moved on to apricots. At any rate, the jam worked.

Voila—breakfast!

That's pluot jam, made in the food processor with one pluot and 2 dates. It was enough for four pieces of toast (I shared.) I liked it so much, I may just keep making my own jam for life. (Incidentally, Shelby's blog has lots of interesting, simple meal ideas and fun tricks, like homemade PCP Doritos. Plus, it's just fun to read.)

It's where I also found the online stopwatch.

I needed a break from counting to 1400, so yesterday I timed my jumps, and today, I broke them down into consecutive 5-minute sets.

And now it's time for my first capoeira class since Tuesday . . . eep!

TTFN . . .

In Your Dreams

2009-10-22T09:36:00.000-07:00

Fortunately, I sneaked a peek at this morning's workout routine last night. What a doozy! Thursday is the only day of the week when I really need things to run on time. So I set my alarm even earlier than usual.

5:30 am: BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP!

Y'all, I blew through my jumps. 1001, 1002, 1003 . . .

And when I finally stopped?

I was still in bed.

I dreamed my way through my jumps. I was almost convinced I had invented an awesome new way to exercise. All you have to do is lie there. . . .

Blog it out, y'all...

2009-10-19T15:47:00.001-07:00

So . . . I was totally going to use this time to pay my bills . . . but instead I just opened up today's e-mail from Patrick in which he mentioned the doomed "PCP Valley" . . . which is due, oh, right about NOW! Hit the nail on the head, why don't ya??

After rejoicing at this morning's much later than usual (6:45 AM!) alarm since Monday is a beloved jumping-only day, my mood went gradually downhill. I was running late, my jumps didn't go that well, and I couldn't concentrate all day. Plus, I sort of resented not being able to eat what I want, when I want. (Keeping in mind that I did choose to do this program.)

I started to wonder about my progress. Why do I still crave sugar? Have I been eating too much fruit and/or agave? Will it be evident in my photos? Oh no! Are Patrick and Chen going to take away my meager fruit servings in the name of fighting sugar belly?

At any rate, I'm much more stoked after getting the week's new diet plan. I can still eat as much veg as I want at dinner (SOUP! It's cold out there, y'all.) And my daytime carb and overall fruit portions are up. Plus . . . more eggs! I'm up to one whole egg and five whites a day now. (I sort of like just carrying around hard-boiled eggs and popping a white into my mouth every so often.)

Here's the scene at my house. Photos taken as a big pot of eggs were boiling on the stove.

Done, done, totally done. I forgot to take empty cartons when I went to pick up our farm share last week, and they multiplied.

Eagerly awaiting the chance to fulfill their destiny

Oh, and then I opened tomorrow's workout and saw that we will be doing the pistol squat, the lawnmower, and the bicycle. Three of my favorite dance moves!

I'm feeling better already . . .

Well...I made the cookies.

2009-10-16T04:08:00.001-07:00

Actually, I split the recipe in half and did an experiment: one batch of regular pumpkin chocolate chip cookies and one batch of pumpkin raisin PCP cookies. Equally delicious.

Hmmm...Cakewrecks, anyone?

Perhaps you can tell the PCP cookies from the traditional ones.

At any rate, I learned several things:

1. I like pumpkin cookies more than I thought I did.

2. It is absolutely impossible for me to make cookies without a) eating the dough and b) eating the cookies. (Mark this as a total PCP diet fail, as I am currently supposed to eat ZERO dinner carbs. Every time I passed the mirror, I lifted up my shirt and gave my budding mini-abs a silent pep talk to help me burn the treats away.)

3. If you have cookies for dinner, and your partner has to get up early the next morning, he will go to bed without you . . . even if you are still high on sugar. There is a small chance you will use this time to make online purchases. Hopefully you will still want them in the morning.

In other news, I got up this morning and blew through my jumps. Almost 1350 straight with very few trips. I didn't even do variations. Hmm . . . a PCP version of Arthur Dimmesdale's self-inflicted torture*? I'd wear a scarlet C on my chest, but I think the upset stomach is punishment enough.

Pumpkin Raisin Cookies

You can find the traditional chocolate chip recipe here, but here's the PCP recipe. We had a couple of friends over, and all the cookies disappeared.

1 c canned pumpkin

2/3 c maple syrup

1/3 c unsweetened applesauce

1 egg

2 c whole wheat flour

2 tsp baking powder

2 tsp ground cinnamon

1/2 tsp salt

1 tsp baking soda

1 vanilla bean

2 c raisins

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Combine ingredients in order. Drop by spoonful on baking sheet and bake for 10 minutes or until lightly brown.

Still . . . until mid-December rolls around, I'll be sticking with these:

(via kraftomatic)

*It wasn't actually torture. It was pretty refreshing.

Freeze! This is a stick-up...

2009-10-14T08:13:00.000-07:00

I have in my possession a pumpkin chocolate chip cookie recipe, and I'm not afraid to use it (okay, I am). I have never been a big fan of pumpkin cookies—too cakey. But I could substitute agave for sugar, whole wheat flour for white, and carob for chocolate chips. Should I or shouldn't I???

I don't even care about the cookies. I wouldn't even enjoy eating them (does that count for something?) It's the act of baking that I miss.

Hmm, psyche . . . I wonder what else could be going on here?

With One PCP Month Down, Reflections On Some . . .

2009-10-12T15:28:00.000-07:00

UNEXPECTED SIDE EFFECTS

Mouth ulcers. Ouch. They're gone now, but wow. Maybe I was eating a lot of acidic food? Or maybe I was just stressed . . .

I've burned myself cooking an exorbitant number of times. Stupid things like using an oven mitt to pull a pan out of the oven and then one minute later trying to move the pan around with my bare hands. Doh.

I totally pulled a muscle in my back doing pull-ups. It's all better now. I suppose this probably shouldn't be considered "unexpected," but I sort of felt like a bad ass . . . whatwith my athletic injury and all.

PHYSICAL CHANGES

Two of my favorite dresses are already too big. One just makes me look like a clothes hanger, and the other is wearable. I'm not sure how I feel about this. On the one hand, yayuh! Go muscles! On the other hand, am I going to disappear? Also, I really like those dresses, and I do not really like shopping.

I feel so much stronger in my ginga (capoeira's most basic movement.) Just try to knock me over, y'all! (Okay, don't really.)

I finally had a jumprope breakthrough last week. No more tripping every few jumps, and I even started doing tricks with more serious aspirations . . . which raises the fun level by approximately a gajillion points.

MENTAL CHANGES

What was once a very special treat (fish for dinner!) is no longer special, and what I used to take for granted (oil and salt!) is now very special indeed.

I'm finding new ways to hang out with friends that don't involve eating and drinking. Like renting bikes, navigating a corn maze, or lounging at the Jazz Age Lawn Party, where my cousin, Erin, won the pie-baking contest. See?

My relationship with food is changing. I appreciate what I'm eating so much more, though I still eat really fast. The rare times when I can't weigh my food, I can guess on portion size, and I don't eat till I'm stuffed.

I've realized that for the remaining two months I'm going to have to cut back on capoeira so that I can preserve my sanity (and that of my household.) Instead of going at least four times a week, I'll probably keep it to two and use that free time for things like cooking, sleeping, and actually seeing my friends.

I'm embracing the suck with gusto. Like in the swimming class Pacato and I just started.

Mostly, I just wanted to post this photo because it makes me laugh.

Newsflash: I'm human! Perhaps the hardest lesson to learn of all.

GRATITUDES

On day 28, I am thankful to PCP for...

1. Making Monday the most exciting day of the week (no strength exercises! the new diet plan! new workout regimens!)

2. How easy it is to get dressed in the morning...especially when I'm running late. I no longer have to wonder if something is going to fit before I put it on.

3. The tiny six-pack that is my only workout motivation some mornings.

4. More energy. Way more energy. If I'm tired, I know it's because I need more sleep, not because I'm on a sugar crash.

5. Helping me slow down. The only way I'm going to survive the next 60 days is by allowing myself free time to relax . . . and accomodating for an earlier bedtime schedule.

AND FINALLY . . . GOALS

1. Eat slower

2. Find some good jumping music

3. Learn some bangin' new tricks, like these:

4. Finally start working on that handstand?

You Can't Make Me Eat That . . .

2009-10-09T18:48:00.001-07:00

Y'all, I have to confess. The past few nights I have eagerly run home to check e-mail, waiting for Patrick to announce . . . an INDULGENCE! I just want to make cookies. I don't need to eat them. Okay, maybe I can have a bite. But mostly it's about old podcasts of This American Life; the crackle of homemade toffee juxtaposed with soft, sweet batter and just a hint of dark chocolate; and the rest of the day simply melting away. And so, last night, when all hope seemed lost, the e-mail came. Day 25. KNOCK YOURSELVES OUT, LADIES!*

Suddenly, I didn't want it anymore. Maybe it's the guilt from the dried fruit habit I picked up in the last couple of days. The habit that's probably going to THROW OFF ALL MY CARB COUNTS. (R.I.P. dried papaya spears. I can't keep them in the house anymore.) Maybe I've already had my indulgence?

The timing couldn't be better. Pacato's mother is in town, and we will eat out at least once. But though I am trying to avoid them at all cost, restaurants aren't as intimidating as they used to be. (What else did I eat today? Did I exercise enough to eat these fried pickles?) A restaurant doesn't HAVE to be an indulgence. I can't control the amount of oil or salt the chef uses, but to some extent, I can control my portions (cue internal food scale), what I eat, and how it's cooked.

Which brings me to today's altercation. My boss's birthday lunch. At what has to be the absolute most delicious hole-in-the-wall Israeli place in town . . . that is also not known for its friendly service. I ordered grilled fillet of sole with rice and salad. When it finally arrived after half an hour, it was fried. And not just that, the rice and salad were covered in beans and sauces. An entire meal that, while no doubt delicious, GOES AGAINST EVERYTHING I STAND FOR RIGHT NOW. When I pointed out that I had ordered grilled fish, the guy insisted I said fried. A few years ago, timid Emily would have eaten it anyway, but I've lived in New York almost six years now—I sent it back. And then I went to the salad bar at the grocery store and ordered this:

*Up to 400 calories

Thought for Food

2009-10-08T07:36:00.000-07:00

Did you guys see this? Michael Pollan's favorite popular wisdom from readers in this weekend's New York Times Magazine: The Food Issue.

My favorites are "When drinking tea, just drink tea" and "It's better to pay the grocer than the doctor."

Ain't that the truth!

Back in the kitchen...

2009-10-05T15:49:00.000-07:00

As week three comes to a close, I continue the pursuit of delicious. Here are a few recipes that were a hit in my house over the past few days. . . .

Fig, Mushroom, and Green Onion Pizza

Saute chopped figs, mushrooms (I used maitake), and green onions in a tsp or less of olive oil. Spread out on tortilla. Bake in 350 degree F preheated oven for 1o minutes or so. (If you have time to make your own whole wheat crust, this recipe is really wonderful.)

*A serious favorite. Pacato tried to distract me so he could steal mine even after I told him it wouldn't be as delicious as the one I made him with salt and extra oil.

Dutch Pancake

Combine cooked grain (quinoa or bulgur work well) with your morning eggs, fruit (apples and berries are good), and ground cinnamon, cloves, nutmeg, or whatever spices you like. Pour in cast iron skillet and bake in preheated 400 degree F oven for 15 minutes. Reduce heat to 350 degrees and bake for 5 more minutes. Drizzle with agave.

*This scrumptious idea came from my friend Anne. It's the first thing I've cooked that actually tasted like something non-PCP. You can also make it savory or cook in the microwave or on the stovetop.

Salmon Papillotes with Fennel, Potatoes, and Olives

Place large baking sheet on bottom rack of oven. Remove other racks. Preheat to 400 degrees F. Cut fennel lengthwise, carrots diagonally, and potatoes into 1/8-inch thick slices. Keep separate. Blanch separately in boiling water (fennel—2 minutes, carrots—1 minute, potatoes—2 minutes.) Transfer fennel and carrots to bowl of ice water and drain. Drain potatoes. Toss fennel and carrots with chopped olives, lemon zest, thyme, minced garlic, dash of olive oil, and black pepper to taste. Put potatoes in center of parchment paper squares. Top with salmon and fennel mixture. Gather sides of parchment up to form a pouch, leaving no openings and tie tightly with string. Bake on preheated sheet for 20 minutes. Serve immediately.

*Modified from my friend Bailarina's favorite salmon recipe. Pacato also did his own version of salmon packets in the steamer, and they turned out really nicely.

Arugula Salad with Steamed Sweet Potato and Avocado

That's all.

*I stumbled upon this one as I tried to use up my leftovers. Quite possibly the best salad I have ever had—no lie. I ate it for breakfast alongside the Dutch pancake.

Popcorn with Lime and Chili Powder

Simple enough. Also from my friend Anne. (Hopefully popcorn's allowed?)

Steamed Scallops

Turns out I love steamed scallops with a passion that's difficult to match. I've been buying them frozen and throwing them into the bamboo steamer for 6-7 minutes.

How do you guys like to cook fish?

Speaking of being in the kitchen, I just finished putting together tomorrow's breakfast and lunch, based on our new diet plans for the week! I'll be back tomorrow or later this week with more general observations. For now, it's time to get my eight hours. . . .

What's Cookin'?

2009-09-28T18:43:00.000-07:00

I say it's time for a recipe swap!

I've adopted cumin seeds, thanks to Naomi; gone crazy for figs at Shelly's suggestion; and Jonti and Denise, I still haven't quite gotten down the hard-boiled egg peeling.

What else is going on in your PCP kitchens?

I've been using a lot of different whole grains: oats, quinoa, brown rice, and I recently found some farro (delicious!). I usually just make them plain or with a little pepper since I tend to mix all my food together. Spelt bread is also a hit at my house. At breakfast, I sometimes roast plum tomatoes on bread with just a touch of olive oil, plus pepper and thyme.

Alice Waters's cookbook, Vegetables, is an excellent source of simple recipes that are easily adaptable for our diet.

Taken on a pre-PCP night when we were particularly proud of our culinary accomplishments.

Her chilled tomato soup recipe (pictured above) is nice on its own or used in burritos or salads. Basically, it's:

4 lbs tomatoes (various), diced (Waters uses a food mill. I do not.)

3 shallots, diced

1 small cucumber, seeded and diced

2 stalks celery, diced

Vinegar (Your favorite...I've tried plum and apple cider. She uses white wine.)

Let shallots sit in a small bowl, just covered with vinegar. Then combine with tomatoes, cucumber, and celery. Add balsamic if tomatoes need sweetness. You can also add mashed garlic or garnish with diced hot and bell peppers. Serve cold.

I made a batch and froze it in individual portions.

Speaking of freezing, I got a little overzealous about buying vegetables this week and decided to freeze my Brussels sprouts (my all-time favorite vegetable except for maybe fennel) and wax beans with the help of this awesome piece in the New York Times.

Other faves:

*Tuna and egg salad with avocado and lemon juice as a base instead of mayo

*Shrimp marinated in a little agave, a splash of lime, ginger, and chili powder before cooking

*Apples or figs baked with cinnamon, nutmeg, and clove (can also add a little agave, oats, and raisins)

Tonight, my beau, Pacato, took the PCP Top Chef Challenge and made some delicious beets. He chopped them raw in the food processor and mixed with a touch of apple cider vinegar and some raisins. He also steamed some chard and onions, and I threw in some farro and halibut I topped with cumin seeds (again—thanks Naomi!).

That's just a taste of what's been going on in my kitchen. I hope you'll share your favorite recipes and tricks, either in the comments or on your own blog!

Meanwhile, in PCPland...

2009-09-27T19:53:00.000-07:00

A week 2 wrap-up:

MONDAY

Makes final batch of cookies for next 3 months.

Don't worry, I only ate half of that. Rules are rules.

TUESDAY

Thinks she's either going to be totally buff or totally overweight by the end of PCP...now that the portions are GIGANTIC.

WEDNESDAY

Already hungry between meals. Sort of freaks out about merging PCP and normal life.

Also, contracts food poisoning and spends entire night on bathroom floor wondering whether her body is trying to tell her something about her recent decision to become a total bad ass.

THURSDAY

Falls off the wagon during recovery—eats some granola, a few pieces of dark chocolate-covered ginger, and...gasp...beans. No fish.

Celebrates beau's astounding 8th place finish in first ever North American Capoeira Music Festival with original song written in Portuguese!

FRIDAY

Watches this video and laughs...

SATURDAY

Catches up on exercises missed after Thursday boycott.

Graduates a cord level at the 5th Annual Capoeira Brooklyn Batizado.

(with beau)

SUNDAY

Finally realizes that PCP cooking is no different from regular cooking except with less salt and oil. Begins to adapt favorite recipes and manages to eat dinner, make tomorrow's breakfast and lunch, bake delicious apple snack, freeze some veg, and prepare extra grains—all before 10:30 pm.

Have You Seen This Guy?

2009-09-24T06:26:00.000-07:00

Y'all, I'm a little overwhelmed. The getting up early to exercise. The making breakfast and lunch before work. The trying not to be late for work. The eight hours of work. The squeezing in a volunteer commitment. The fretting over when I'm going to clean the house. The two hours of capoeira. The making a GINORMOUS dinner at 10 pm. The crawling right into bed so I can get up early again the next day...

Seriously, I have total respect for those of you with kids. In fact, the only thing that kept me going during my exercises yesterday morning was this guy:

Have you seen this guy?

Forget G.I. Jane. I want to have THAT kind of balance.

But what's the point of sculpting yourself into a buff and crazy-acrobatic TOTAL BAD ASS if you don't have time to nurture your other relationships? It's lonely on the Peak.

How do I give PCP my full effort, still be present in the rest of my life—my beau, my friendships, work, my capoeira community—and even find some space for myself?

Multi-tasking is not my strong point, so I'd love some suggestions. How do YOU find balance?

Last Hurrah

2009-09-21T21:07:00.000-07:00

Mmm...my last half meal...a collaborative project between my beau and I...

Waxy beans, fresh fennel, grape tomatoes, onion vinaigrette

But wait, there's more!

Six spice oatmeal raisin cookies

I bake cookies to relieve stress. I'm not sure if you can bank this sort of relief, but I thought I'd try. I don't get nearly the same pleasure out of eating them. Naturally, I had to eat half a cookie, though, since it's my last opportunity for 83 more days...

PCP, I'm ready to go.

Day 4, Hit the Floor

2009-09-18T04:30:00.000-07:00

Today I experienced my first, "Oh man! Do I really have to do these exercises??" as evidenced by the fact that I kept tripping up on my jump rope. By the middle of set two of my lunges, I got into a zone. (Incidentally, lunges are my least favorite—I think because I struggled with balance a lot at first.)

As I did my bad-ass pushups, it dawned on me—THIS is what I signed up for. 90 days...well, 84* more days...of straight-up physical challenge. Up to now, I haven't struggled with the exercises. I train capoeira at least three times a week, and I'm using those same muscles in the PCP exercises. But the brain. The BRAIN is what needs the training.

Yesterday was just sort of a tough emotional day anyway. I think today's resistance was carryover. But I read my fellow PCPers' blogs, and realized, clearly this is why we blog. I came here alone, but I'm not going to leave by myself.

Thanks also to the veteran PCPers who are reading and have dropped in to say hello. It's nice to know you're out there!

*ahem...um...86.

I think we can all agree...

2009-09-16T04:51:00.000-07:00

...that half the oatmeal I would normally eat is quite a sad sight.

Don't worry, sad oatmeal. I'm going to add some plums.

My beau and I have a weekly farm share, so all that's in our fridge right now is vegetables, fruit, grains, beans, and eggs. I've a feeling this selection isn't so far off from what I'll be eating exclusively for the next 90 days. Part of me is like, maybe I should just go buck wild this week and eat fried Oreos for every meal! (But you know...just half of them.) I am going to a wedding this weekend. I can imagine half the wedding cake, but half the champagne? That might be tricky. That stuff sneaks up on you...

In exercise news, I find immense pleasure in getting up, jumping rope, doing some strength exercises, and not feeling guilty that I didn't go to the gym to run a few miles. Although I learned an important lesson about jumping rope: do NOT drink water between sets....

A Peek at the Peak

2009-09-15T20:56:00.000-07:00

The event I have both feared and excited over is finally here—Day 1, the Peak Condition Project. Actually, it's after midnight, so technically it's finally over. Occasionally over the past couple of weeks, I've wondered why I signed up. Like, why did I really sign up? To achieve age-defying levels of skinny? A little bit. To lose those extra five pounds I put on this summer? Totally. To give myself a challenge? Yep. But let's be honest. I'm here to become a TOTAL BAD ASS. A glistening, one-handed push-upping, G. I. Jane, gun-toting, terminate-the-Terminator, Linda Hamilton-level BAD ASS.

Day 1: Check! So far, so good.

This week's assignment is simple enough: eat half of what you normally would. To which I immediately thought, if I could do that, wouldn't I already be in peak condition? Actually, it was pretty easy...on day one. But do you really eat half an apple? Half a hard-boiled egg? Luckily, I live in New York, where the other half is sure to find itself in needy hands. This evening, as I walked down the street, I experienced an odd, almost unfamiliar sensation—hunger. I can't remember the last time I was legitimately hungry. Usually I head the feeling off at the pass. Because I don't use food to fuel my body. I use it to sate my emotions. Stressed, overwhelmed, depressed, anxious, bored—put a cookie on it. A peach. Some peanut butter. I'm working to recalibrate my relationship with food outside of the PCP as well, and I'm sure I'll talk about it a lot in the next 90 days.

For now, this is just a peek. Let OPERATION TOTAL BAD ASS begin.

Grrrrr!